"Animals can talk all year long!" Scientist declares.


Disclaimer: This study was conducted in the wee hours of a dark winter day under the influence of a caffeine high. The findings may be inconclusive. However, this reasearcher stands by his theory that animals can, and do, talk throughout the year, not just on Christmas Eve. An application has been filed for government funding, to further this investigation.

"Kin oo git me a faw 'r fomethin? Tis is hurtin' mi teeth an' I wanna git out!"

"I've been circling this thing for hours, and there's no way to get at those floating creatures! The 'multi-verse' theory is true! Mind blown! Wait a minute, is there something watching me?"

"We're lost again, aren't we? Why didn't you just ask that chipmunk for directions? Stop ignoring me, Tom!"

"Well done, you three! Daffy and Donald! Pay attention! Can't you two stop thinking about eating for even a moment?"

"Okay . . . now just put down that camera and use those opposable thumbs for something useful, like opening this door! Yes, just right here, you see where I'm pointing with my head?"

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Copyright © 2017 by Mark Bierman.