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Donkey On the Road

Okay, so it's been awhile since I have posted here, my apologies. Life happens and there have been a number of significant stressors that I will not divulge, nor bore you with here. Some of you may have noticed my absence on the various social media platforms I normally haunt. The point is, I'm back!

It's hard to pass on the chance to relay several amusing, at least to me, recent events that have occurred while driving on the narrow dirt road on which our modest bungalow is nestled. Aside from being chuckle-inducing, I've come to realize they represent two polar opposite perspectives that anyone can choose when approaching life issues.

Last week, my progress along a road that intersects ours was impeded by a creature that I shall call by its more polite name . . . a donkey. I shall use this name, even though it requires typing extra letters and causing further pain to my left index finger. This digit was "mortally" injured by a broken beer bottle while wrestling it from a ditch. :) Oh, the tasks we do to raise funds for our daughter's upcoming Girl Guide camp. Yes, I normally wear gloves, but was feeling like a "lucky punk."

Sorry, too much side story. Getting back to that donkey. He noticed me coming, saw that large beast of a car heading towards him . . . but did he move? Nope. Just gave me an annoyed look and continued chatting up the two lovely bovines who lined the fence. In fact, he even made sure to point the large body area, for which most of his kind are aptly named, directly at my hood. No doubt the ladies applauded their favourite rebel with ultra vigorous cud-chewing.

Donkeys are not stupid. They are well aware of danger and problems. Many farmers use them to protect their sheep from coyotes. He knew there was a problem, but he refused to run away and hide. He didn't flee in abject hysterics, just calmly assesssed the situation and enjoyed life in peace. He knew that problems are part of life and are best solved in a rational and orderly fashion. And so it came to pass. The farmer arrived and together we moved the fella back into the safety of his pasture.

Now, in another episode, I present the wild turkey. This creature reacted in a way that can best be described in pictures. Sorry, I didn't have a camera with me at the time, so I did my best and am about to treat you to some hand-drawn (yes, I drew them) action scenes!

A few important points before we begin. The first is that the bird is drawn in purple crayon . . . just because, and purple was the only Crayola intact enough to use. It hadn't been broken or melted into some crafty mosaic. The second, and most important, the turkey shown here is not a true representation of its actual size.

Also, please be aware, that at NO time did I try to run this bird over. I allowed it to ramble quite a distance ahead of my vehicle. This was the only route to my home, so going another way was not an option. Yes, I could have parked the car and waited, and waited, and waited . . . approaching on foot, not advisable as these birds can be quite agressive.

The photos are simple, but should be easily decipherable. They are drawn from my view behind the windshield.

Scene One:

Notice the panic that invokes the prey-like pattern to avoid capture.

Scene Two:

After performing this pattern the length of a football field, the bird finds shelter in the tree line. Yup, he's safe. All good. Right?

Scene Three:

Nope! Out it comes again! Its mind is a tornado of panic-driven confusion. All sense has left this bird and it delivers itself back into the path of the threat. This happened four times, before the thing realized it should just stay in the bush.

The same problem, but two different perspectives which led to two different reactions.

From now on, I'm going to be more like THAT Ass! (NOT an ass :) )

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Author, Mark Bierman
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